Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Randomize
