we should wear snuggies to the strip club
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
Randomize