hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
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