He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
I feel like a drive thru vagina
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
Randomize
