My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
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