it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
Randomize
