forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
The sky will open, cue choir of angels: "oh! wow! Matt was right! Not only will I grow out my bush, but I'm going to date straight, available men!"
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
Randomize
