I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
Randomize
