They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
We need to feng shui this bitch.
Randomize
