I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
Randomize
