The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
The ass gains better be worth it
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