So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
Randomize
