with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
Showing up at the grocery store at 5am to have the clerk sprint to the condom cabinet waiving the keys because you told him to hurry it was an emergency
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Randomize
