What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
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