I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
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