Me. At least after what I've been through.
We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
Randomize
