Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
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