I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
I woke up at 5am on my couch, naked, with a cereal bowl of water next to me. Apprently, drunk me thought I was a kitten last night. Super impressed I slept next to the bowl all night and didn't spill a drop.
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
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