Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
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