Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
Randomize
