Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
Do I have a sign around my neck that says "SWM desperately seeking ultra-plus-size woman that likes everything I do"? I swear they're organized
No, but you do have a sign around your neck that says "Free cupcakes."
Dear yesterdays makeup, Thank you for always being there when I stay up late binge drinking on weeknights and am running late to work Friday morning. You're the best.
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
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