We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
Randomize
