the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
Use "feeling words"
Yay
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
