Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
ugly people sure do ruin things
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
Randomize
