I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
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