i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
YOU HAVE PISSED AND FUCKED ON LITERALLY EVERYTHING IN MY HOUSE
Not everything, just a few things. And only a few times. The odds are really not all that bad when you break it down.
you’ve pissed every time you slept over. there’s no such thing as odds anymore. it’s guaranteed
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
You told me that you couldn't come over because you felt like you were gonna die and that houses eat you when you die, and my house couldn't eat you because your house would be jealous. That's when I knew to take the bowl away from you.
Randomize
