My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
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