how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
Another f*ing night of vodka youporn and xanax. I need to get a goddamn life
3 great things that go great together... But not on a Friday night. Perfect on say... a Tuesday.
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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