I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
when I die covered in cocaine, hookers, and tequila at 73 years old just remember that I once had a tweet with that many retweets
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
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