He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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