best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
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Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
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these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
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