sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
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