Nicole vs. Life
why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
Randomize
