This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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