I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
Randomize
