I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
And the cops told us we were all naked.
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
Randomize