im drinking this country out of the recession.
I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
Never underestimate the power of titties
Randomize
