Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
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