He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
Randomize
