Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
