Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
My phone autocorrected "shhhhh" to "AHHHHHHHHH" and I feel like that says a lot about my life
Randomize
