He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
Randomize
