My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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