is it weird that i blow-dry my hair and poop at the same time?
not any weirder than you telling me this at 4 in the morning
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
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