I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
I have post one night stand depression
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize
