my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
She left me with blue balls so I jerked off on her french toast in the morning.
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
Your penis caused this!
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