i think my mom watched the whole time
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
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