I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Randomize
