I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize
