she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
Randomize
