i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
You told me you were going to invite all of your Tinder matches to the same bar on the same night and make them compete for your affection in a series of Lust Olympics. Winner gets laid.
Randomize
