Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
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