and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
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There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
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I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
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