I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
Randomize
