So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
Sorry, Geoff can’t come to his phone right now. He’s outside trying to show his dick to a bachelorette party bus with “DTF” written on the windows
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