ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
Randomize
