God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
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