I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
