I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
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